Spirits communicate with us most easily while in meditation and most often in our dreams. It is fairly common and easy to communicate with our dearly departed ones as often as we would like to. While we are in the dream state our conscious mind is more open and allowing of the communication. If someone you love has recently departed and you are not recalling a dream about them, don’t be discouraged. They are visiting you only you are not remembering because when someone we love has died recently the memories are very raw and painful and so you will not remember the visits until a time when you have healed and grieving is not so intense. Some people that I have loved that have passed on communicate with me in my dreams right away, some later on after a period of time.
Years ago, while in meditation, I had a spirit show up that I didn’t know. At first, I thought I was wrong and tried to ignore him. He persisted. He was very strong impressing my mind with his face and invading my meditation. I finally asked who he was and he told me his name was Chris. I then sketched a likeness of him in my journal. I had no idea who this guy was or why he was coming to me – he just kept saying his name. During this time, I was teaching a dream class in Houston and this night of my class it was pouring rain along with thundering and lightning. Quite a storm. The receptionist at the center where the class was held called me and asked me if I was coming and she asked “Please, don’t cancel your class there is a couple that are insistent on coming and are driving from Galveston.” I told her that I had no intention on cancelling the class that there were already 10 others confirmed. Once I got to the center everyone but the couple were there in the room. We waited a few minutes for the couple to show but they were running late so I decided to go ahead and start.
About 15 minutes into the class the couple from Galveston arrived and took their seats. We were in a casual setting and I was describing the different types of dreams. As soon as this couple sat down, my “friend” Chris appeared next to me. He was so excited and kept saying to me “That’s my mom and dad! “ over and over like an excited little boy in a candy store. I remember, telling him to calm down (in my mind) I don’t want to appear crazy, by talking to a guy only I am seeing – this is a dream class not a medium class! At this point, the dad asked me “How do you know when you dream of someone who is dead if it is a visit from that person or just a memory dream?” I was beginning to get the picture now. Everyone else was very interested in this answer and so I told them my experience of visitation dreams and what I knew. Keep in mind all this time this spirit is jumping up and down next to me and talking so excitedly but I really didn’t not feel comfortable blurting out across the room. Plus, I am almost losing my train of thought on teaching the class because having someone else talking in your head is very irritating to say the least! In the end, after class was over the couple walked out. My spirit “friend” Chris was jumping up and down to make contact with them. I told him “Okay,!” at the risk of looking like a lunatic this better be your parents!!
I stopped the couple outside and told them the whole story of my meditation and a young man in his mid twenties who has come to me. I described what he looked like. Both the woman and the man started to tell me that their son had been murdered. I stopped them before they went any further and told them what he looked like and they confirmed with tears that was their son. I told him he is here and he has been communicating with me for two weeks and that he was here now. They had been desperately seeking many ways to contact him. He had come to them in dreams but weren’t sure if it was really him or not. I told them that many times while in the midst of our grief of losing a loved one we are not certain of what is a visit and what is a memory created by our own sub-conscious.
This subject of visitation dreams of the dead runs deep but here are a few common traits of a visitation dream:
* a very real, clear, feeling, focused dream, REALity feeling of the visit.
* lack of symbolism as in an ordinary dream – very little of a story or plot
* Strong emotions: love, forgiveness, or peacefulness sometimes but not often anger or fear from the spirit
* A touch or hug – physical contact, a reaching out to you
* Often, the spirit looks happy, younger, more healthy or vibrant than when they passed.
* Knowing..you have the feeling, certainty that it was the person…”I just KNOW it was him/her”
* Sometimes you can feel their presence on near where you are sleeping
Vampires are real and they can suck the life force from you! Toxic people or Emotional vampires are very real and we deal with them pretty much through out our entire lives in various ways. Most of us know at least one and many of us know and deal with them daily. Like traditional vampires who come out in the dark, emotional vampires feed on the dark side of people. Like attracts like and when your energy is at their level they will feed off of you until they are so fat and happy with negative glee and leave you lying there all strung out, defenseless and depleted of all energy. Sometimes, they can even have such control over you that you become one of them. Be careful, very careful.
Who are they and where do they live?
They can be family members, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, friends, customers/clients and therefore they too can live with you, work with you, hangout with you and do business with you.
In my own life I have experienced many of these vampires and have learned how to avoid them or deal with them in ways that leave me in a better place. I have dealt with the boss vampire, a co-worker vampire, client/customer vampire, several so called friend vampires and a family vampire (which for my own safety will not discuss here!) I hope to help you identify vampires in your life and give you positive suggestions and spiritual solutions in dealing with them. I want to point out here, that it took me a lot of lessons to finally accept that these people really do exist. I have given so many people the benefit of the doubt, or made excuses for them etc., that finally after many tough experiences and soul searching I have learned they do. I thought for a long time that my so called friends and family could never do that because I would never do that to them. That being, steal my boyfriends, abandon me in times of need, belittle me, compete with me, steal from me, cheat on me, hurt me physically and emotionally, crush my dreams, control me and the list went on. The lessons I have learned is that not everyone has our best interest at heart and that we are the one’s that are responsible for us and our happiness and well being. If we take care of us then we can take care of others from the best mental, emotional, physical and spiritual center of our being. When we stop looking to others for love and approval and look to ourselves and God for it, these toxic people stop showing up to teach us these lessons.
How do you feel?
One of the easiest and most important ways to know for sure that you are dealing with an emotional vampire/toxic person is to notice how you feel when you are with them, before you are about to see them or after they have left. Emotional vampires will cause you to feel and or be anxious, stressed, tired, angry, depleted, shamed, stifled, shame, suspicious, un-equal and fearful. Negative feelings in general are what they give off and feed off. I want to point out here something I strongly believe. Love, impersonal or personal does not grant anyone the right to treat you or you them badly. In other words, if you are putting up with it because it is my ________ who is family or is my friend and there fore they don’t mean it, really. These vampires know what they are doing and if they really don’t realize they are doing it then they are mentally ill. Most of us know when we are being mean, it doesn’t feel good. Don’t stand for excuses or empty apologies.
Types of Emotional Vampires:
There are quite a few “types’ when you break it down. However, I am listing a few that we tend to deal with on a daily basis.
Emotional Wreck: This person is constantly in a state of emotional and mental confusions, drama, excitement, depression…they just can’t seem to keep themselves or their life in order without DRAMA.
Putdown Artist: No matter what you can rely on this person to slam you at each turn. They put you and anything you do down and usually really enjoy doing it in front of others.
The Hater: He/She is always hating on you or anyone that they perceive is better than them; richer, skinner, fatter, nicer, more successful, better house, car, life in general.
The Blamer: Everyone else it to blame for their problems or problems in general. Life sucks for them because everyone else keeps them down. They will usually say things like, “If it weren’t for those ______ things would be so much better.” Or “If it wasn’t for ______ I would be better.”
Moochers: These people are constantly borrowing from you – everything from a stick of gum to money. Like you want a stick of gum back! Anyway, they will suddenly come down with memory loss when it comes time for payback in money or favors.
Gossip Girl/Guy: Never do they have anything to say that isn’t salacious, bad news, judgments of others and pointing the bad in everyone and everything.
Bullies: No matter what age we are these nasty people seem to be around us at one time or another school, work, and socially. A bully loves to hurt, humiliate and dominate those that are weaker than themselves.
Manipulators: These are cunning tricksters that are sometimes hard to see at first. They are masters of deception and subterfuge to gain control over you.
Self-Destructor: This is friend or family member is dead set on bringing you down with them if you stick around and enable them. They are the alcoholic, party-holic, drug addict, etc.
The Downer: Always in a sour mood. Life sucks for them and they will let you know it. Think about that skit from Saturday Night Live with Debbie Downer. Funny as it is on television we all know that in real life that kind of person is so not fun or funny!
The Love Stealer: This person generally is your “friend”. They know all about you, your history, family etc. they have shared some good times with you but all along for them it is just a means to an end which is to get your partner or spouse in bed with them. This person wants you to know that they are better than you because they could have had your partner and you can’t hold them. They don’t necessarily want your partner they want the control over you. They know no boundaries.
If you still haven’t figured out if you are around or involved with any of these creatures here are a few warning signs:
- Excessively nice or friendly to everyone, to the extent that it is phony. This is to lure their victims into their world for them to feed off.
- Perpetual doom and gloom attitude and or moods
- Constantly making snide remarks to you or in general
- Almost all conversations with them start off with negative or bad news which they quick deflect or diffuse by saying “Oh I didn’t really mean that…”
- You feel drained, sad, mad or depressed when with them, before you know you have to see or talk to them and after you have left them
Most emotional vampires or toxic people are mentally ill on some level and they are miserable and self loathing. You cannot fix them or talk to them about their ways because they never see that they are wrong. It will always go back on you and the vicious circle continues. Do not enable them by having a “discussion” about how they are acting. They will not get it.
No Garlic or Crucifixes Needed:
In dealing with and or getting rid of emotional vampires the best thing to do is sever the relationship. However, I know this is not always practical because many of them are family members or co-workers, possibly bosses or spouses. My suggestion is to always keep things on a professional, non-personal, cordial level. Conversations should never include personal information. This includes weaknesses, fears, worries or even positive things like a promotion, raise, new this or that. Keep it strictly professional. If they start to gossip or try to lure you in by some “juicy” bit, which always starts out with “Don’t tell anyone but……” At this point, kindly change the subject or excuse yourself politely.
The main thing to remember is the less you engage them and the less attention you give them the quicker they will lose interest. On a spiritual level if you keep yourself at a positive energy level above them they will be less attracted to you because they are operating at a low frequency energy level. Like attracts like is true for this situation as it is for all things in the universe.
This is an effective sleep prayer to help those suffering from insomnia. After you are in bed and get comfortable, take three deep breaths, inhale the good and exhale the stress of the day. Then repeat slowly, quietly and lovingly to yourself as you fall to sleep:
“My toes are relaxed, my ankles are relaxed, my legs are relaxed, my back is relaxed, my hands and arms are relaxed, my shoulders are relaxed, my neck is relaxed, my face is relaxed, my eyes are relaxed, my whole body and mind are relaxed. Relax, Relax, Relaxing, Relaxed. I fully and freely forgive everyone including myself and I wish for all harmony, health, peace and all the blessings of life. I am at peace. A great stillness comes over me and a great calm comes over my entire being as I realize the Divine Presence within me. I know that the realization of life and love heals me. I wrap myself in the mantle of love and I fall asleep filled with good will for all. Throughout the night peace remains with me, and in the morning I will be filled with life and love. A circle of love surrounds me. I sleep in peace and I wake in joy.”